1. Becoming a good lover takes time. So does becoming a good father. Donating sperm may have been easy, but fatherhood can be a lot more rewarding. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process.

2. Scared of diaper duty? You might be relieved to know that holding, bathing, feeding and playing with your baby all count as essential hand-on fathering.

3. Your wife will be herself again. Yes, she is probably on duty 24 hours a day with baby on the brain. No, she probably isn’t much fun right now. But life will return to normal as the three of you adjust to your new situation.

4. It may look like all your wife cares about is the baby, but she actually needs you. A lot. The amazing person you coupled with nine or ten months ago is right there inside the stressed-out new mom. Stay close and keep the faith.

5. Your sex life may have taken a nose dive, but you will be able to engage in some adult fun, with your wife, soon.

6. No one is to blame for postpartum depression, baby blues, or any other postpartum mood disorder. The vast majority of women go through some version of these. Don’t blame her or yourself. Many symptoms are temporary, and there are treatments available for all of them.

7. Sleep can help more than you realize. New moms generally have the toughest time with sleepless nights, but dads can be sleep deprived as well. Finding creative ways to help each other get a little more rest can make a big difference.

8. Trust your gut. Everybody, from the guy at the gym to your baby’s pediatrician, will give you different advice. Even if you’re new at this, your instincts are good. Your wife, your baby and your instincts will let you know what you need to know if you pay attention.

9. Playing is essential. It’s a known fact that your baby needs play to stimulate both body and mind to develop properly. Get down, give in to your inner child and groove with your baby.

10. The advent of a new baby is stressful. Even miracles create challenges. Things should get smoother with a little time. If your lives don’t get better, or if you or your wife feels worse, ask for help!